The Life Struggle
by Ruastfru-of-MorningClan
Summary: From Cinderpaw's PoV from when she gets hit at Thunderpath to when she becomes Medicine cat apprentice. Rated T for possible later violence. I don't think I'll continue this though.
1. Prolouge

**Prologue**

**A/N: All characters, settings and most of the dialogue belong to Erin Hunter. **

**This is around mid- Fire and Ice. It's Cinderpaw's point of view from when she gets hit on Thunderpath to when she becomes Medicine cat apprentice.**

I was padding through the forest, endless rows of trees laid out before me. I froze when I picked up the acrid stench of the Thunderpath, and heard monsters roaring past me. The monsters felt as if they were right beside me, but Thunderpath wasn't anywhere in sight. Feeling a heavy impact, I yowled, "StarClan help me!" Following the impact was a flash of red and then darkness.

"Cinderpaw!" a voice hissed. I tried to follow the voice but realized with a jolt of horror that I was immobilized.

"Cinderpaw!" the voice hissed once again, this time followed by a paw prodding my side. I opened her eyes to see Brackenpaw hovering over me. "You lazy lump of fur! Just because Fireheart gave us the day off of training doesn't mean you can sleep the whole day."

My gaze drifted around me, only to see the familiar surroundings of the apprentices' den. I had been dreaming. "Okay, okay. I'm up." I grunted, recovering from her dream. I pushed myself out of the den, a light drizzle still falling from last night's storm. Following me was Brackenpaw, who was complaining about the mud.

Lying down next to the tree stump, I groomed my ruffled fur. Just then I saw Frostfur burst out of Bluestar's den, retrieve the medicine cat, and then disappear back into the den. I knew Bluestar had been ill, being the reason why Fireheart had given them the day off training. "I hope Bluestar hasn't got worse." I murmured to Brackenpaw, who nodded in agreement.

Moments later, Dustpaw burst through the camp entrance and raced towards Bluestar's den. I watched with interest as he was greeted by Fireheart. The scene could get interesting, being that Dustpaw and Fireheart weren't exactly friendly with each other.

"I've come from Tigerclaw." Dustpaw meowed loudly. "I have a message for Bluestar." Then Fireheart murmured something I couldn't hear.

"Tigerclaw needs to see her at the Thunderpath. It's very urgent." Dustpaw was beginning to lash his tail impatiently, whiskers twitching irritably.

"What's wrong?" Fireheart said coolly, an irritated twitch of his tail tip the only thing that betrayed his frustration.

"Tigerclaw asked for Bluestar. Not some kittypet pretending to be a warrior!" Dustpaw taunted.

I saw the fur along Fireheart's spine begin to bristle as he growled through clenched teeth, "Bluestar can't leave the camp."

Dustpaw was about to give Fireheart a sharp retort when Yellowfang slipped out Bluestar's den and approached the two quarreling cats. She meowed a few things to both cats, Dustpaw spitting back a protest. Ignoring Dustpaw, she then turned to Fireheart and urgently murmured something to him. I strained my ears to listen, but it was a hopeless attempt.

Then Dustpaw's obnoxious mew sounded above their murmuring, loud enough for Cinderpaw to hear. "What about Tigerclaw?"

Matching Dustpaw's loud tone, Yellowfang spat, "Tigerclaw will have to deal with it on his own for the moment!"

Excitement pricked at my paws. _Maybe I can help!_ I thought, eyes gleaming. Bounding up to them, I mewed, "Deal with what himself?" I fell silent when she saw Fireheart signal with his tail for her to be quiet.

"ShadowClan could be in our territory by now!" Dustpaw mewed in distress, ignoring me.

My eyes widened, but I kept quiet. ShadowClan on our territory! I snorted in disgust. Looking to Yellowfang, I saw a clearly troubled look cross her face.

"Where's Whitestorm?" she meowed at last.

"Patrolling Sunningrocks with Sandpaw and Mousefur," Dustpaw answered a hint of a sneer in his voice.

Slowly, Yellowfang nodded her head. "With Bluestar sick and Fireheart fetching catnip, we can't risk sending anymore warriors out of camp. If ShadowClan _is_ in our territory, they might attack here. They've done it before," she meowed bitterly.

I'm no medicine cat, that's for sure but I did know that catnip was the cure for green cough. My heart jolted with horror. Had Bluestar's white cough gone to green cough already?

"If I'm quick of getting catnip, I could meet Tigerclaw afterward and bring back his message for Bluestar."

I could see rage was building up in Dustpaw. "But he wants Bluestar to see the evidence for herself. ShadowClan has left the remains of fresh-kill on our side of Thunderpath!"

A deep growl rose from Yellowfang's throat, as she shot a glare at Dustpaw. "Bluestar doesn't need to see the evidence," she snapped. "The word of her deputy ought to be enough."

"Tigerclaw just needs to be told that Bluestar can't come. I'll take the message to him after I've fetched the catnip. Where is he?" Fireheart meowed, turning to Dustpaw.

"I'll go!" Dustpaw hissed, eyes burning fire with hatred. "Do you think you're a better messenger because you're a warrior and I'm just an apprentice?" His pelt was bristling and his eyes burned into Fireheart's, as if his gaze could penetrate straight through him.

Then I saw Yellowfang, ears pinned back and the fur along her spine bristling. "The Clan will need protecting while Fireheart is gone!" she growled. "Isn't that duty important enough for you? Now where is Tigerclaw?"

Grudgingly, Dustpaw mewed, "Beside the burned ash tree that overhangs the Thunderpath."

"Right," Yellowfang grumbled. "Go now Fireheart! Quickly!"

As Fireheart bounded off towards the camp entrance, I sprang up and streaked after him. "Fireheart, wait!" I called after him.

"Go back to your den, Cinderpaw!" Fireheart growled over his shoulder, not stopping.

"But I could go and give Tigerclaw the message while you get the catnip!" I protested.

Then I saw Fireheart skid to a stop. "Cinderpaw, if there are any ShadowClan warriors around, you need to stay in camp." I looked down at my paws, crestfallen. "Go back to your den," he ordered, and without wasting another heartbeat, pelted away.

I looked up to see Fireheart's tail disappear through the camp entrance. Then the gloomy look in my eyes turned to a blazing ice-blue fire. _I'll show him, I_ thought to myself. _I'll show all of them._


	2. Chapter 1

**N/A: Okay, Here's the first real Chapter! Sorry it took me so long to write…. I'm lazy, OKAY? R&R!**

I rose to my paws and streaked out of the camp entrance, anger pricking through me. _If I be quick of this, I should get to camp before Fireheart, _I thought. _He might get a little mad, but I bet he'll be proud, too. _

My anger was being replaced by excitement as my paws carried me past the Sunningrocks and through the Tallpines. Finally I approached Thunderpath. Monsters roared past, blowing hot, stinking air on me. I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"There it is," I murmured, seeing the burned ash tree overhanging the Thunderpath. "But where is Tigerclaw?" I shrugged and padded towards the tree, soon finding Tigerclaw had left a scent marker. _I'll just wait here until he comes back, _I told myself. A few monsters roared by on the other side of Thunderpath, leaving their acrid stench behind.

One other thing struck me; Where were the remains of the prey Tigerclaw needed Bluestar to see so urgently? But my thoughts were interrupted when I heard the roar of an approaching monster. I spun around and, with a yelp of horror, saw that the monster was head right towards me.

I sprang up to flee, but I was too late. A searing pain shot through the back of me, especially my leg. I let out a high pitched yelp of pain, it's echo carrying on throughout the forest. Suddenly my dream came flooding back to me. I should have known it was a warning!

I saw Tigerclaw, and I tried to drag myself out of the road, but I was too tired. So tired….

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I awoke in Yellowfang's den and looked around wildly, the shock of the accident raging through me. I was shuddering uncontrollably, fearing a monster would crash through the bracken at any moment and trample me with it's round, black paws.

"I see you're up," rasped a voice. I spotted Yellowfang approaching me, for once with a gentle expression on your face. "That's a good sign." Noticing my shuddering, I guess, she began to murmur comforting words to me and pressed her flank against mine. "You got hit at Thunderpath, but it's all over now. You're all right."

I continued to shake, kneading my paws on the ground apprehensively. And there was something about the look that was on Tigerclaw's face at the Thunderpath that still came back to nag me; Something about the way he calmly stalked over, no look of panic or even the slightest hint of concern on his face. My heart was racing still, but my shuddering was beginning to ease. This went on until, I'm guessing, moon high. Then I had calmed down from my shock and I was able to receive poppy seeds.

"You need to rest now," Yellowfang instructed me. "You've had a long day." I nodded slowly, still aware of my extra caution as I lapped up the small black seeds. Before I knew it, I was drifting into a dreamless sleep.

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**N/A: Okay! Time for a PoV switch! It's from Brackenpaw's point of view, as requested.**

"Brackenpaw! Get ready for training!" I pricked my ears at Fireheart's call.

"Cinderpaw, it's time for- oh. Right." I murmured to myself when I saw Cinderpaw's empty nest. The sun had set four times since Cinderpaw's accident, and I still wasn't used to waking up to her cold, unused nest. Shaking my gold colored pelt, I padded out of the apprentice's den and over to Fireheart.

"Go and get yourself something to eat and then we'll start battle training," he instructed me.

"Yes, Fireheart." I mewed with a dip of my head. I began to pad to the fresh-kill pile, then paused and whirled around. "Graystripe's been sick for an awful long time," I blurted. "Why is it taking so long for a cold to cure?"

I realized I had said the wrong thing when a flash of anger surged through Fireheart's eyes. "Because he isn't doing as he is told, and staying _inside_ camp." he growled.

"Oh," I said in a small voice, flattening my ears against my head and ducking away from Fireheart's rage. I'd never seen Fireheart so angry. He usually had such a calm nature.

"I'm sorry," Fireheart sighed. "It's just…. Never mind. You wouldn't understand. Go on, get yourself some food. There's training to be done."

With a curt nod, I turned tail and bounded towards the fresh –kill pile. I took a vole for myself and selected a magpie for Cinderpaw.

Padding into the medicine cat's den, I meowed, "Cinderpaw!" Moments later, a small gray feline figure slipped out of the den and limped over to me, wincing noticeably. "I brought you some fresh-kill," I mewed awkwardly, gazing at her severed leg.

"Thanks," she rasped and tore into the magpie. I began to eat my own prey, chewing thoughtfully.

"Brackenpaw, I just have this feeling I'm dead weight to the Clan," Cinderpaw broke into my thoughts. "I-I keep telling myself, 'Don't worry, you're leg will heal. You'll be a warrior,'. But- I'm staring to think that's just a fantasy I put in my head to escape from reality. Brackenpaw, I'm useless. All I am is an extra mouth to feed." A tear ran down her cheek, and soon progressed into racking sobs.

"Cinderpaw! Don't you dare say that! You have to believe in yourself, and you'll far. You're a wonderful cat, and you'll be a terrific warrior." I mewed, gently stroking her with my tail. Her mood had changed so rapidly, I barely had time to think of what had happened.

"No I'm not," Cinderpaw growled, eyes blazing with a fire that could penetrate through a cat if she tried. "I'm a burden. A mistake."

"Cinderpaw…." I choked. But I couldn't find the words to comfort her, so I merely, pushed my nose into her fur and continuously told her she was a wonderful cat with courage, and that she'd get through her injury.

We stayed like that until Fireheart summoned me with a loud yowl. "I have to go," I murmured, drawing my tongue over her ear. "And don't you ever forget that you're the most beautiful, wonderful cat in the world, and no matter what, you're my sister and I love you," I mewed before streaking after Fireheart. She nodded bleakly, but I felt she didn't take the words to heart. But there was no more I could do.

"Okay, we're going to the training hollow. Do you think you can get us there?" I nodded confidently, tail held high as I made my way to the hollow. That was one thing I knew I had covered- I knew every part of the forest by heart.

Once we arrived at the sandy dip in the earth, I let out a purr of satisfaction and bounded down into the hollow. But still, the image of Cinderpaw with a deep sorrow reflected in her ocean blue eyes kept coming back to me. "What are we doing, now?" I asked shaking my head.

Fireheart gave me a puzzled look and tilted his head to the side. "I thought I told you before we left camp," he meowed, the shrugged and paced down into the hollow. "Anyway, we're doing battle training today," Sitting exactly on the other side of the hollow, across from me, he narrowed his eyes and said, "Attack me,"

I instinctively dropped down into a crouch and began to stalk towards Fireheart, weaving in different directions. Finally, I rocked on my haunches and pounced at Fireheart. But he was ready for me. Rearing up onto his hind legs, he used his front paws to topple me over. After tussling a bit on the ground, Fireheart had me pinned down.

"Try again," he meowed, releasing me. I scrabbled to my paws and planned out how I would attack.

I dropped into a crouch again and began to weave towards Fireheart. I pounced, just the same as before, but this time when Fireheart reared up, I ducked down and darted in between his legs, knocking him off balance. Taking advantage of his fall, I pinned him down. But Fireheart rolled over, now pinning me down. But using my back paws, I was able to fling him off me and across the hollow.

Shaking dust off his pelt, Fireheart rose to his paws. "That was brilliant!" he praised me, purring in satisfaction. I drank in the praise, not able to hold back a grin of pride.

We practiced defense and more different battle moves until sundown, then headed back towards camp. "You did excellent today," Fireheart commented, striding back to camp.

"Thanks," I mewed shyly shuffling my paws. The rest of the way back we were both silent, loping side-by-side towards the camp.

When we arrived back at camp, I saw Cinderpaw sitting outside the medicine cat's den looking bored. Suddenly a pang of sorrow pierced my heart like a thorn. All the boundless energy that Cinderpaw used to harbor seemed to be drained out of her. The sight of her sitting there, lonely, her eyes glazed over and blank, the usual liveliness completely gone, made me feel awful.

And the worst part was there was nothing I could do. Only watch as she stared up to the sky, asking herself if she would ever have a place in the clan again.

**N/A: I still don't know if I'll continue, so please comment and tell me your opinion!**


End file.
